JenLynnArt

Due to my bought with Colitis in late August of 2021, I had missed the first day of school for my boys, and I felt terrible. Although they are both in high school now, the first day of school is always a milestone and I missed it. It reminded me of the very first time this nasty disease came into my life, back in 2008/2009 when I missed Ethan’s second birthday.

This is one of the things about living with a chronic disease(s) that is hard for people to understand: it robs your body, mind and soul and hijacks your spirit. It takes so much from you: the inability to follow through on commitments, to plan, and most importantly the inability to consistently show up as a wife, as a mother, daughter, friend, employee, etc. in the way in which you and others feel and think that you “should.”

All of which lead to guilt, shame, sadness, depression, grief, anger and rage at your body and at the world. Feelings of worthlessness and powerlessness set in. Subconsciously and sometimes not, you become envious and jealous of the healthy – even those closest to you. And eventually you build a wall. No, a cage of protection around yourself but become so small in the process that you don’t even recognize who you are anymore. And before you know it, you’ve completely disappeared and fallen into the abyss.

Soul Thief
Body, mind and soul snatcher
Hijacker of Spirit
Puppeteer of emotions
Cage builder
Steeler of Self

You opened the door to Depression, and said, “Welcome, come on in. Join the party. Shame and Sorrow are here and Grief is on his way.”