Art for Dummies

Originally posted on Justsomething.com

The following is a funny guide that’ll help you link famous painters and their style and paintings together in the future. Even though it was conceived as a joke you will realize how this list captures the essence of each artist, resulting in the end actually useful.

Caravaggio.
If everyone looks like doey-eyed girls, then it’s Caravaggio.
Reubens
If everyone has giant asses, then it’s Reubens.
Dali
If it’s something you saw on your acid trip last night, it’s Dali.
Picasso
If everybody has some sort of body malfunction, then it’s Picasso.
Bruegel
If the paintings have tons of little people in them but otherwise seem normal, it’s Bruegel.
Bosch
If the paintings have lots of little people in them but also have a ton of crazy bullshit, it’s Bosch.
Titan
If the images have a dark background and everyone has tortured expressions on their faces, it’s Titian.
van Eyck
If everyone – including the women – looks like Putin, then it’s van Eyck.
Rembrandt
If everyone looks like hobos illuminated only by a dim streetlamp, it’s Rembrandt.
Michalangelo
If everyone is beautiful, naked, and stacked, it’s Michelangelo.
Boucher
If the painting could easily have a few chubby Cupids or sheep added (or already has them), it’s Boucher.
Degas
If you see a ballerina, it’s Degas.
El Greco
If everything is highly contrasted and sharp, sort of bluish, and everyone has gaunt bearded faces, it’s El Greco.
Monet
Dappled light but no figures, it’s Monet.
Frida
If every painting is the face of a uni-browed woman, it’s Frida.
Renior
Dappled light and happy party-time people, it’s Renoir.
Manet
Dappled light and unhappy party-time people, then it’s Manet.
Mondrian
It it looks like an Excel sheet with colored squares, it’s Mondrian.

Jen Chaudhry6 Comments