Art for Dummies

Art History

Originally posted on Justsomething.com

The following is a funny guide that’ll help you link famous painters and their style and paintings together in the future. Even though it was conceived as a joke you will realize how this list captures the essence of each artist, resulting in the end actually useful.

Caravaggio.

If everyone looks like doey-eyed girls, then it’s Caravaggio.

Reubens

If everyone has giant asses, then it’s Reubens.

Dali

If it’s something you saw on your acid trip last night, it’s Dali.

Picasso

If everybody has some sort of body malfunction, then it’s Picasso.

Bruegel

If the paintings have tons of little people in them but otherwise seem normal, it’s Bruegel.

Bosch

If the paintings have lots of little people in them but also have a ton of crazy bullshit, it’s Bosch.

Titan

If the images have a dark background and everyone has tortured expressions on their faces, it’s Titian.

van Eyck

If everyone – including the women – looks like Putin, then it’s van Eyck.

Rembrandt

If everyone looks like hobos illuminated only by a dim streetlamp, it’s Rembrandt.

Michalangelo

If everyone is beautiful, naked, and stacked, it’s Michelangelo.

Boucher

If the painting could easily have a few chubby Cupids or sheep added (or already has them), it’s Boucher.

Degas

If you see a ballerina, it’s Degas.

El Greco

If everything is highly contrasted and sharp, sort of bluish, and everyone has gaunt bearded faces, it’s El Greco.

Monet

Dappled light but no figures, it’s Monet.

Frida

If every painting is the face of a uni-browed woman, it’s Frida.

Renior

Dappled light and happy party-time people, it’s Renoir.

Manet

Dappled light and unhappy party-time people, then it’s Manet.

Mondrian

It it looks like an Excel sheet with colored squares, it’s Mondrian.