To assist in my climb out of that deep dark hole I had sunken into, I decided to turn back towards Spirituality to aid in my search for answers and perhaps some healing. But, let me back up here and give you an overview of my non-religious upbringing.
My Mother’s parents were Polish Catholic. They went to church regularly and she attended Sunday School taught by Nuns who put the fear of God and Hell in her as a little girl. My Father’s parents had come from the South and were Baptist. However, I don’t believe Dad was raised going to Church. I was baptized in the Catholic Church but don’t remember attending church. My parents had a falling out when my brother and I were very young; after which we never went back.
My parents divorced when I was ten; it was 1980 and the “New Age” movement was all the rage. My mom, fresh off divorce, and tired of the strict ideals of Catholicism that she’d been raised in, began seeking other forms of “religion.”
When I was growing up, before the divorce, we would hold rudimentary “séances” in our kitchen – we weren’t really trying to conjure anything, we were just having fun.
My mom frequently consulted the Ouija board to find missing items — from the precious porcelain Easter egg ornament (but that’s a story for another day) to my beloved pet hamster, Rusty Wayne Newton III, that had escaped from his cage when I was 12.
During Middle and High School mom introduced me to several spiritual books. Some of my favorites were Illusions, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, and One by Richard Bach. He was probably my first introduction to Spirituality.
Then I read Shirley MacLaine’s books and Linda Goodman’s Sun Signs and later Star Signs, James Redfield’s The Celestine Prophecy and The Medicine Wheel: Earth Astrology by Sunbear and Wabun Wind. For a gift one year I received a beautiful Onyx black bear with Clear Quartz crystal on his back. I still have him today — he sits on my altar.
In college, for my Psychology degree, we had to select an adjunct area of concentration and I chose East Asian Cultures. My favorite class was Eastern Religion where we studied about Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, etc. We read, Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda, one of my all-time favorite books for which I still have my beautiful worn collegiate copy. I also took several courses in Chinese History and Culture and the ancient Japanese Arts.
For Christmas during this time, Mom gave me a statue of two little Gurus smoking pipes and reading books. They join Black Bear on my altar.
Growing up, Mom and I consulted with a local astrologer and had our birth charts read. ‘Jerry’ described me to a T and I became hooked — I was enamored with the science of astrology. I love how it weaved the left brain sciences of mathematics, astronomy and physics together with right brain creativity, art, and intuition.
Later, as a young adult, I took a few classes in the evening at the nearby high school through a local astrologer. We learned the basics: signs, planets, houses, aspects, and an introduction of how to put it all together. I acquired books on the planets, astronomy, and even tipped a toe into Stephen Hawking and Quantum Mechanics. I’ve since accumulated probably 30 books on Astrology over the years and have been studying it on and off for as many.
In January 2021, when I decided to look for Spiritual Guidance, I did what everyone does nowadays and consulted the “Almighty Google”. I had no idea where to look or even what to search for, I just knew that I needed to start somewhere and find someone with an intuitive connection to the universe; someone who could possibly provide some insight as to why my life had been so damn difficult, someone who could help me learn how to heal and provide a hand up and out of the dark place I had been in for so long. Thus began my Spiritual “Reawakening.”